This Friday last was an interesting weekend for me and my buddy Eddy boy
Eddy is a correct guy anyone
would wanna hang out with any day, anytime. A fun-loving, cool headed and outgoing
dude. And did I mention that he is also a smooth talker with the ladies. He is
that type of dude u won’t even wanna entrust mother Theresa with.
Eddy and I have come a long way. We
used to share the same crib back in school in the North-eastern part of Naija. We
used to have ladies patronized our bunk then like their second hostel. (Will
reserve that gist for another day).
Was bored at home when I received
a call from eddy inviting me for a hang-out and since I was home alone without
NEPA light to watch my favorite routine movies and wasn’t in the mood to hear
any Generator Sound that night, I obliged and we ended up gallivanting from one joint to another
in one of the most popular suburban part of Abuja. The first place we visited is the popular MOVIDA NIGHT CLUB.
I had a little too much to drink
that night (I happen not to be a heavy drinker) and got a bit tipsy after my
first bottle of stout. That got me really high. Eddy too was a bit tipsy so we
decided to go do some naughty things
The joint was packed with so many
scantily dressed ladies-of-the-night (one could tell 50-70% of them were
actually ‘Ashawo’ and the rest were just there to catch fun). The number of
ladies at this joint was particularly alarming; got me thinking a lot of ladies
must have resulted into the night business because of the current economic recession
facing the country.
Alcohol really does a lot of magic in people as it induces this Dutch courage resulting in you doing unimaginable things. Can’t remember how it all started, but I remember telling Eddy I’ve never bargained price with any Ashawo in My life and would love to have an experience. Have heard so many tale about how people solicit for sex with this ladies of easy virtues but never a personal experience.
Heard this myth as an adolescent that actually kept me away from them. Someone told me they normally carry inside their hand-Bags Concentrated ‘ToTo’ Water Solution (water they use to wash their private part after having sex with their customers). Heard they will pour it on any guy that venture to go soliciting for sex ‘anyhow’ with them. Can’t remember who told me that gist; I did believed it with the whole of my heart and the thought of having myself drenched in ToTo water is really scary and gives me the chills; so I had always used that as a reason not to even look at an Ashawo talk more of go pricing for sex…lol
So we decided to use that night
as an opportunity to add to our guy’s experience archives. With the
alcohol induced Dutch courage, it was easy talking freely and boldly with this
ladies.
Because our ultimate aim wasn’t to
take this ladies home, we decided to come up with a plan: We requested the
service of just one babe for a Threesome (Me and Eddy on one Babe): Eddy will
pretend to only do ANAL and me the vagina.
The first babe we picked entered
our car to do the bargain.
The reality of actually
soliciting sex and my tipsiness got a better part of me as I kept laughing all through.
Wonder why the ladies didn’t take offense and pour Toto water on me (Guess the
Myth was false after all).
Eddy: babe how far na?
Chic: Werin dey
Eddy: Are U gamed for the night?
Chic: TDB or Short Time?
Eddy: TDB. You go do am with both of us. Na how much be
your fee
Chic: 20k
Eddy: Haba! For this Buhari economic
recession
Chic: ok, I will manage 15k
Eddy: na wa for you O…na Leventis ToTo u get be that na… but wait o, me na back I dey do o
Chic: Dog-Style? I sabi through back very
well na. and I dey suck preeq very well. I go give am to you the way you go
like am well well
Eddy: no O!...I mean na through
the ANUS I WANT
Chic: Chineke!!! which kain talk
be this abeg… For how much na…for 15k you wan come tear my yansh for me…you
want make I come dey wear pampers… dey take drug to treat my anus after abi?...abeg
drop me joor….Me I no dey for that kain thin (Tufiakwa …biko o!…)…
She alighted from the car and
kept speaking Igbo dialect
At this point I just kept
laughing uncontrollably. The whole drama was so funny to me.
The second lady we picked also
reacted like the first, but to a lesser degree. She even said she might
consider doing it on the condition that she first measure the size of eddy’s ‘preeq’
and we agree to increase the fees….
...............................................................................................to be continued
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